A few months later I realized that Evelyn did not like it when I tried to give her a kiss on the lips at bed time. When I put the two occurrences together, I realized that something was ‘up.’ Lizzie has a huge influence on her sister and Evelyn will often change her behavior because of something Lizzie said or did.
So I asked them one day, “Why can’t I kiss you on the lips anymore?” The answer was simple. A kiss on the lips is called a ‘wedding kiss.’ Only the people getting married can have a wedding kiss. They are not getting married to mom or dad or Grandma or Bubbe or anyone else who feels the need to kiss them on the lips, so why should they have to kiss them on the lips. Occasionally when they explain the reason, they will add that people already married can kiss on the lips and it is ok because they are married.
I scratch my head at all of this because I haven’t really taught them anything about kissing or who to kiss or who not kiss. I haven’t even really begun to touch the idea of not kissing boys. I really have no idea. But because my kids are old enough to make some decisions, I have honored this choice. No more kissing on the lips.
Recently, a former student of mine was getting married and my children and I were able to attend the wedding. About a week before, I told them where we were going. They were excited. They immediately began planning what they were going to wear and began practicing how they would act at the wedding. Then it dawned on them. They were going to see a wedding kiss! The girls have been to a couple of weddings in the past, but they were very little and most likely do not remember being in attendance.
The days leading up the wedding their excitement began to build. The day before we travelled to the wedding town and the next day we were in preparation mode. They had to take showers and have their hair blown dry and straightened with Mommy’s hair straightener. Everything had to be just so, down to the socks. And for Evelyn the socks were a big deal.
When we got to the wedding, it was at a beautiful outdoor location. I ended up taking Will and Evelyn off to the side because they were getting fidgety. Once the ceremony started, they began watching and waiting. They knew the kiss was coming. And at the right moment, it happened. I captured the kiss on camera while Evelyn sighed wistfully and Will played with a stick. Later, I asked Lizzie if she saw the kiss and a big grin appeared on her face. She saw it alright.
Occasionally I will kiss them goodnight on the lips and the two of them collapse in a heap of giggles saying “Mommy gave us a wedding kiss.”